Let's Play Sword Art Online!
by GrimRangerLock3001
Summary: Hello, viewers and readers! Welcome to a Let's Play of Sword Art Online! I'll be playing as my avatar trying to clear the castle of Aincrad along with my 9,999 other fellow players. Comment(review), subscribe to(follow), and like(favorite) this series if you kindly would. Let's Play! (WARNING: Swearing)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Welcome to the SAO Let's Play!

[?'s P.O.V., _10/31/22_ | _5:11 p.m._]

"HELL YEAH! I got a NerveGear, suckas!" I yelled after opening up the box on the counter, raising it for the entire world to see through my roof. If it had X-ray vision, that is.

This is the day I've been waiting for since I've found the pre-order ad a couple weeks ago while browsing through my fanfic – I mean – super important articles necessary for my high school project. Yeah, I totally didn't stay up until 6:30 a.m. finishing it up after completing the 51-chapter _Unseperable Sparks _story. But, the hype is really building up for the new VR game _Sword Art Online_. It's just like that time Uncle Vic made that Little Johnny game on Game Dev Tycoon. This is totally worth.

Well, now I got a couple hours before I have to go out candy-raiding with T, so before that I'll install my equipment into this thing. I'll need to add my recording stuff, my Wi-Fi hotspot, wireless upload device, an extra processor just in case, and my song playlists because I like playing with my music on, and the etceteras. Always need dem etceteras. Taking my stuff and tools out, I took out the casing of the VR helmet and was about to begin my work until …

"SON OF A BITCH!" I yelled again, this time in pain as rays of heat left my hands burning in extreme pain. I rushed to the kitchen sink putting on the coldest water to wash the ten sizzling fried sausages called my fingers.

"What the fuck is wrong with you little Japanese brain toaster helmet?" I muttered, before sighing in relief with the ice cubes in my hands after pulling some from my refrigerator. First thing, it's a gift of the game tech gods; next thing, it tries fried HUMAN fingers. It just lost the whole battery, like what the hell? It got its charger on. Should be full in a couple hours. Damn, painful glitches are a glitch – I mean – bitch. Heheh, punny.

"Anh Hai! Come on! We're about to go!" my little sister called out. T, I was just about to work goddammit.

Dashing up and down the stairs throwing the stuff inside my room (except for the NerveGear. I handled it with care in the protection of a towel. It's the _preciousss_), I finally caught up to my sister waiting at the front in her costume.

Slapping me on the shoulder, she gave a barely visible glare, "Anh Haiiiii, we have to hurry! You're like a koala sometimes!"

"Hey, I gotta clean up my stuff, okay? Gotta do those things before we go."

"Well, Mom and Dad were right about you taking your time in everything. You're going to be lazier than you already are if you keep getting addicted to those games."

"Well, I'm not the only one. Remember who spent the whole summer hogging over a certain Xbox if I remember correctly?"

"Well, at least I don't keep reading all that manga and anime."

"You like them, too! And it's watching anime. Remember? Manga's the graphic novel; anime's the TV series. OH SCREW IT! Let's just go already!" I opened the door and we went outside for the annual night of candy-hoarding, costume-dressing, and fucked-up horror movies.

_Meanwhile …_

The NerveGear was slightly smoking upon activation of its microwaves, and if anyone had a meter to check the room, the rads were coming a BIT up. Just a bit.  
>[<em>9:13 p.m.<em>]

Man, a good bowl of the beefy, noodley goodness right before I'm about to get back to work. Worth because it's so damn good! Time to check out the Microwave Helm of DOOM, aka the NerveGear.

Eh, it looks fine. Looks like it's not going to burn the skin off my limbs again BECAUSE IT BETTER FUCKING NOT. I swear. World War II's over, guys! Come on people, take some appreciation that we made up. Don't be like that, killing Americans with their own means of entertainment by melting our brains to our painful deaths. Bastards, man.

Oh well, gonna start the installation process. (Badass building tech music …)

(Reader sees the NerveGear and behind it the unknown character with a welding mask that suspiciously has three blue, glowing lines as a visor and a plasma cutter. **Wait, what? Nonononono, take that back!**)

(Reader sees the NerveGear and behind it the unknown character taking labored breaths with an iconic black helmet and a red energy sword. **Bitch, hell no.**)

(Reader sees the NerveGear and behind it the unknown character with blue goggles revving the chainsaw blade under the barrel of a large assault rifle. **Goddammit, not that either!**)

(Kay, kay, kay. I got you. Reader sees 15-second action scene with unknown character doing all kinds technical stuff with the NerveGear while blasting K-Pop through the speakers. **You good, bro.**)

_A little more than an hour later …_

Whew. Glad that was over with. Now they're going to launch SAO next week, and according to the betas there are a hundred floors on some weird floating castle. The only way kick ass was by hacking and whacking said ass with only the weapons. Sword Skills, Stats, and Equipment are basically everything. What's going to be my playstyle though? Oh yeah, imagine actually living your entire lives in a world like that, maybe make it the same in every aspect of life … and death. There was that guy 10 years ago with some light novel like that. Some Reki Kawahara guy. Hmm. Meh, think about it tomorrow.

[_11/6/14 _| _4:20 p.m._, _Sword Art Online_ Launch Day]

"_Yume de takaku tonda karada wa /__Donna fuan matotte mo furiharatte iku_ …" I sang softly to myself, shutting the door of my room and turning to my desk. I ate a hearty meal of homemade fettuccini alfredo with mushrooms and chopped up steak, and my homework's done. Tonight I play in Aincrad!

And there it was. The mind portal to another world. The envoy of the beginning of a new age of badassery to be a part of me. The big bro that I never had helping me work towards my dreams. Let's go to work. Turning on my laptop, I sorted out a few things before I had to go.

"Forever log-in of 'Tube account … update every day at 7:30 … commentary … audios … aaaaand YOSH! Sento kaishin!"

After giving the helmet a last once-over, I donned the new tech and turned it on, and I got through the biometric calibrations and stuff. Now taking a couple breaths, I softly said the two words, "Link Start."

Colors. Colors Everywhere. Not a pixel to prevent seizures to a guy's eye pair. Terrible quote, but seriously Akihiko, don't do this to people. Vivid colors are a lot to take in, kind of like your first time smokin' weed. And like that, you're suddenly in fucking heaven a couple seconds later.

I went through the character customization pretty quickly, already having a good idea of my looks. Just like a baby seeing the world at birth, I was reborn while being temporarily blind. Blinking my eyes, I took a breath and it took a bit longer to get it out, sounding like steam coming out of my nostrils and mouth. The landscape, the level design, the people, the whole goddamn world …

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMNNN! This all looks absolutely, freaking GORGEOUS!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, and a couple – fine, several – okay, okay a lot of heads turned at me with a bunch of raised eyebrows. Man, I like living in this place the moment I got here. Don't fuck with my adoration, haters.

I scrolled down my menu, and I inspected my character once again. A bit taller above average height, lightly muscled build, light brown hair with bangs covering my right eye, navy blue eyes, light tan skin, dark green long-sleeved shirt, brown vest, black pants, typical one-handed sword, and that's the works. 275 health at Level 1? That's above average if I remember correctly. The stats …

Strength: 10

Defense: 16

Agility: 9

Dexterity: 3

Luck: 2

"Oh ha ha, I got 765 big ones playing half an hour of gambling with my family. Don't shit on my luck, game," sarcastically muttered to myself, "Now to the abilities …"

One-Handed Sword: 1/1000

Slant: 1/1000

Vertical: 1/1000

Horizontal: 1/1000

Searching: 1/1000

Straining: 1/1000

Acrobatics: 1/1000

Sprint: 1/1000

Extended Weight Limit: 1/1000

I was going to scan through some other stuff, but SOME ASSHOLE forgot to put the English dub on them. What the hell, Kayaba? Now, I have to ask someone for …

"Oh crack on a biscuit!" I noticed the red flashing dot on the corner of the sort of HUD I had. I'm recording already.

"Oh my God! I am so sorry, viewers, for not noticing earlier, but I am VarlancerTheRanger. And, welcome to my Let's Play of _Sword Art Online_!" I said to no one in particular, "As you can see, I have already created my character and you've heard my less family-friendly comments a bit earlier. Sorry. But yes, let's get started on an adventure. No, wait, let's go Tolkien for a minute here. Ahem. _My dear Bilbo, are you ready to go on an __adventure__?_"

I slowly turned around taking in the sight of the houses, players logging in, surprised faces like mine earlier seeing the new world, "Well, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, to say again. Welcome to _Sword Art Online_ …" I attuned in on the music, the sensations, all that good stuff; so I pretty much tried to rip off those _Assassin's Creed_ synchronizations.

"Well, everyone, if you're wonderin' where we are, we are in the Town of Beginnings on the first floor of the floating castle of Aincrad. Aaaand, according to the beta videos I found on the Internet, we should be seeing some fields outside of here with some monsters, so let's get right to it."

I was jogging through the city for 10 minutes, passing by the crowds, marketplace, inns, and finally to the outside. Then, I drew my weapon at the sight of these probably low-level monsters before me, and I just had to unleash a little bit of my inner Crafter.

"Hello, PIGGIES! Die, bacon!" and I was getting it on with the slaughter and my commentary.

"_No other thing'll matter to me. / No other thing but you … / This is the first time I've played a VRMMO! / It's just like 2001 playing Ha-alo / And right now I'm killing these piggies / So you must know! / (oh oh) / I'm in love with SAO!_ Okay, I promise, guys. This will be the last time I ever make a parody off a Brit boy band. Yeah."

My defense appeared to be very good for my level because I barely flinched at the impact of a full charge from those things. Just slashing at them repeatedly while holding them down became the norm for my grinding, and luckily there was a big concentration of piggies to kill where I was at. After some bad imitations of the announcers saying "Killing Spree!", "Quadra Kill!", "Killing Frenzy!", and so on; I checked my window on my abilities.

_Congratulations! You have reached Level 2!_

**Stats**:

Health: 290/290

Strength: 13 (+3)

Defense: 18 (+2)

Agility: 12 (+4)

Dexterity: 5 (+2)

Luck: 2(+0)

**Abilities**:

One-Handed Sword: 69/1000

Slant: 1/1000

Vertical: 1/1000

Horizontal: 1/1000

Searching: 32/1000

Straining: 29/1000

Acrobatics: 25/1000

Sprint: 88/1000

Extended Weight Limit: 46/1000

**Stat Points Available**: 5

**Exp**: 18/1000

"Oh forget you hating on my Luck. Go pick on someone else. Hmm, but I wonder how you level up those Sword Skills? Slant, Vertical, and Horizontal. Post those in the comments if you know how. I haven't even used them yet. It's supposed to be some pose to activate them, right? Also, I want to know where do you want me to put my Stat Point in or even what my playstyle should be. I want to go full tank, actually. Break the strength-agility meta that I'm certain will be coming up late-game. But yeah, post your thoughts in the comments below. Again, I'm back to grinding for the rest of the video, so skip ahead for anything interesting if you kiddies are bored."

I turn my view to two other players killing some hogs, too. One of them had dark blue hair and a lighter blue shirt, and the other one was an orange-haired individual with a red shirt and bandana. They both assumed a stance with their swords over their shoulders and their legs spread slightly apart, and their swords began glowing with power. A moment later, they dashed forward slashing through the monsters shattering them into code. Oh, is that how you do a sword skill?

"Well, everybody, that's one way to do a Sword Skill in SAO 101. Lesson finished."

I clapped at the duo, and they turned to face the applause. We walked towards each other and I nodded my head to both of them before sticking my hand out.

"Hello, great job on the multi-kills, guys."

They both tilted their heads at me before the red one confusedly asked me something in Japanese, I believe. God damn it.

"Darn it," I muttered.

The blue player curiously asked though, "You Amerlican?"

Well, take this T. Anime and manga are good for you, especially in video games. (Vision of T berating me about how bad video games are.) You know what? Forget it.

"Hai," I tried, okay, "Watashi wa Varlancer. Do you have subtitles?" stressing on the last sentence a little bit more clearly. Well, it looked like he got the message, and he opened his menu searching for something in the options, I think. I opened mine as well, and he came by my side pointing at different icons until he started talking to me with the English sub on and the text dubbed.

"Hello, I'm Varlancer, or just call me 'Var'. Arigatou."

"Kirito. Hello to you too."

And the red guy joined in, "And I'm Klein!"

I decided to ask a question, "Nice to meet you all. So … how you guys like it?"

Klein enthusiastically answered, "It's the best thing ever doing all this cool sword stuff. Ha!" thrusting his short sword with a Sword Skill.

Kirito looked at me for a couple seconds and asked something as well, "What level are you?"

"Uh, Level 2 just 5 minutes ago."

He seemed shocked for some reason, "What? So quickly?"

"Well, I just got surrounded by 12 of those pigs after killing what I think was their alpha or something. And I got a killing spree when I outlasted them with the Spin 2 Win."

"Wait, you had the Cyclone Sword Skill?"

"What do you mean? I haven't even tried any of them yet, but it's okay. I know exactly what to do after you dubbed everything. Thanks."

Kirito sweatdropped at the sheer absurdity of this n00b being Level 2 before him, and his face twitched in all kinds of places.

I waved a hand in front of him, "Eh? Kirito-san, daijobou?"

Then Klein looked at me weirdly, "You know Japanese?"

I shrugged and made an eh-eh motion with my hand, "Some bits and pieces I picked up from anime, video games, and manga."

Klein then nodded with a little 'oh', "Well, I need to log out and get my pizza until whauff – ?"

Our blue friend got back to his senses and checked his menu, "What do you mean? It's right – wait where is it?"

"Was this part of the beta, Kirito?"

"No, that can't be."

I tried the Game Masters, "Nothing with the GMs. This is really messed up."

I felt a weird sensation suddenly. If I was Alec Guinness (Yeah, I love some old stuff), I would've said one of his infamous quotes. 'I felt a great disturbance in the Game, as if hundreds of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.'

Then we got TP'd.

[_5:30 p.m._ | _Town of Beginnings_]

What the hell are we doing back here? What's with all the other people, too?

"Uh guys, I don't know what's going on here, but I think this is some weird-as-heck opening event or a cyberterrorist. Vote now," I commented, with sarcasm on the last bit.

Then a giant, red-robed and hooded figure descended from a red sky, and I just had to yell, "420 BLAZEIT!" which got me a lot of 'WTF's.

"**Welcome to my world**," he began, "**I am Kayaba Akihiko. I am the only person who controls this world. So you may have noticed that the Log Out button is not present in your menus. This is not a bug, but another feature of **_**Sword Art Online**_**. I repeat, this is not a bug. In addition to that, there are no respawns, so when your health reaches zero, the NerveGear will release a pulse of microwaves to essentially destroy your brain. Any attempt to remove your NerveGear in the real world will also trigger this, but do not worry. The outside world has learned from its mistake after the deaths of 200 players.**"

"Kirito, is that even possible?"

Said person nodded grimly, "Yes, the capacitors in the NerveGear are more than capable of killing us, and simply unplugging it won't work either. It has an internal battery that will run for a very _long_ time."

"Son of a bloody gun," I groaned.

The other players are getting riled up too, I see, "Impossible, 2-200 p-players?! / "Is it true?!" / It can't be!"

"**Also, I decided to give a little gift in your inventory.**"

I pulled out a 'Mirror' then I and everyone else flashed in a bright light, revealing different avatars for all of us.

Mother of God. I had dark brown, mostly straight yet slightly messy hair, plain brown eyes, 5'7" tall height. I'm me. Everyone is themselves. In real life. Turning away from the uglier (**I mean, ugliest**) bastards, I told my viewers out there.

"For the love of blimin-ay, don't make yourself uglier than you already are. Look your best, people!"

Then I saw Klein, a little scruffy but not much changed about him, but Kirito. This is the kind of cute seinen guy going to get his own harem. Lucky bastards, and unlucky ones sometimes. The two were talking a little, but I ignored them to hear more from the 'Creator'.

"**The only way for anyone to escape this game is by clearing all 100 floors of Aincrad. However, you will all be probably wondering about why Kayaba Akihiko, the very creator of **_**Sword Art Online **_**and the NerveGear, do this? Well, I did this to you 10,000 players because I have a world to control and that all of your lives will become new ones in my world. This is the tutorial for SAO. Players – I wish you luck**."

I watched the mass hysteria spread throughout the stadium.

"To all of you out there waiting for us, like our jailer wish us luck and my condolences to the loved ones of those 200 players. I end this first episode of Sword Art Online. This is not just a Let's Play anymore, it's a life story now. This is VarlancerTheRanger, and I'm signing out. Ba-bye." End of video.

I saw Kirito dragging Klein away and I proceeded to follow unseen. Once they arrived in an alley, the black-haired teen faced his other companion.

"I'm headed for the next town. There will be quests and better monsters there. Will you come with me?"

"I'm sorry, but I have friends back there. I need to round them up and meet up like we agreed. You go on ahead without me." The two nodded at each other and wished good luck.

"Oi, Kirito!" said boy turned, "I like you better like this. You look very cute."

He gave his acquaintance one back, "Yeah, and you look better as a scruffy scoundrel. Just as I imagined." But Klein was gone.

Dashing away, Kirito headed for the next town killing monsters in his wake, and I followed getting some of my share of the action.

I asked the viewers if they're ready for an adventure. Gandalf-style, especially. Well, I am.

**Hello, everyone to my first Sword Art Online fanfic! Welcome to my world …. JK, but hope you enjoy. Type up a comment and press that review button if you're interested in the series. Favorite and Follow if you want to which is nearly as good, but I am interested in what you have to say. Until the next episode of Sword Art Online Let's Play, this is GrimRangerLock3001. See ya.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: The Plays I'm Gonna Make

(_11/20/14_ | _7:21 a.m. _| _**Sword Art Online**_** Let's Play Part 15**)

"Hello, everyone. Welcome back to _Sword Art Online_. I'm sorry, but if you didn't know, 800 more players have joined the initial 200 in death after a check back at the Town of Beginnings yesterday. Therefore, I pay my respects like I did on the first video," a small moment of silence came, "However, hope that the rest of us will become stronger to avenge them like you and us players should everyday." Humming a random tune, the owner of the grave voice looked up into the sky and followed a somehow very particular group of wispy clouds. In his mind, they seemed like human spirits, but he brightened up a bit.

"On a lighter note, what's up, guys!? This is VarlancerTheRanger, and lovely morning, isn't it? I wanted to read your comments to figure out how Sword Skills work, **how** do you eat, where to sleep, **where** to eat, can I not show my helmet, **what** to eat, what you lot wanted for me to play as, and so on; but being stuck in this virtual castle of gaming damnation called Aincrad I am clearly unable to do that. I pulled through though, picking up some things along the way, so I have made a decision. I have finally decided what I'm going to play as." I stood up, headed for the next town, and scrolled down my stats.

**Character**: Varlancer

**Level**: 9

**Stats**:

Health: 415/415

Strength: 62

Defense: 84

Agility: 64

Dexterity: 49

Luck: 2

'Oh haha, Akihiko motherfuckin' Kayaba. I have way better luck than this shit … which I have been saying for the last two goddamn weeks!'

**Abilities**:

One-Handed Straight Sword (Lvl. 5): 511/5000

One-Handed Battle Axe (Lvl. 4): 3365/4000

One-Handed Assault Spear (Lvl.4): 2888/4000

One-Handed Dagger (Lvl. 3): 1871/3000

One-Handed War Hammer: 923/1000

Slant (Lvl. 5): 128/5000

Vertical (Lvl. 5): 82/5000

Horizontal (Lvl. 4): 3954/4000

Parry (Lvl. 4): 13/4000

Block (Lvl. 5): 94/5000

Searching (Lvl. 5): 212/5000

Straining (Lvl. 5): 175/5000

Acrobatics (Lvl. 5): 173/5000

Sprint (Lvl. 5): 439/5000

Extended Weight Capacity (Lvl. 5): 498/5000

**Stat Points Available**: 26

**Exp**: 1596/3250

"I've been trying out some different weapons as of far – well only the one-handed ones at least – and I actually liked the weapon and shield thing. And you all saw couple parts ago of my first time with a shield.

_[Flashback to Part 7]_

"_Okay guys, I am going to try out this new shield I bought, and I am going to see how I do with it. It's surprisingly lighter than I thought, though. Probably the strength stat. Or the weight capacity. Strength or the weight capacity. Oh, maybe strength __**and**__ weight capacity. Yea. But enough shit, let's go kick some virtual ass!"_

_(5 minutes later …)_

"_HOLY CRAP ON A CRAPBURGER MADE OF CRAPPY PINK SLIME AND CRAP MAYONAISSE AND CRAPPING TOMAHTOES ALL ON CRAPTASTING TOP OF A CRAPPIN' BISCUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"_

_Who the hell makes the Luck stat so bad that you get a whole fucking herd of piggies after your ass? I got nearly ran over by several of them and bitch srapped dem a-ho'es wit' mah pimp cane swo'd fo' doin' dat shit. Come on! It's only the most goddamn logical thing to do. I don't even think the Luck stat is supposed to have anything to do with this! But still, fuck you Luck and, more importantly … _(turns to screen)_ CTRL – F – C – K – Alt – U, Kayaba!_

_I activated my Horizontal, striking down 4 pigs from the mass stampede behind me before continuing sprinting off. Turning a corner, I dashed into a narrow cave – about a single guy wide – only to find it a dead end. I turned around to face the horde coming for me, and a slightly overeager pig charged in a little faster before leaping in my direction. With a Vertical, I brought my battered sword down upon it until it broke before me. 'Shit.' But on instinct (and maybe some inspiration from Captain America plus Leonidas plus Ryse plus Braum), I reared back my shield for what seemed like a punch and smashed my foe's neck against the side wall with the shield's narrow end, shattering it to pixels; and I brought it down bracing myself for the charge. CRASH! The swarm piled in through the entrance colliding with my only protection. Looks likes my last words are coming up._

"_People, I'm so sorry for this. Looked like Lady Luck had flashed me so many times with her torturous beauty and completely hot, imaginary body before saving me from hordes that no normal player should have found. And now looks like the goddess herself has now come to rape me in the ass – or in this case the front. Wait, what? I am only 15, and still yet to have a girlfriend and getting some. I love my family: dad, mother, and lil' sister. I love food. I love League of Legends. I love anime and manga. I don't like racists but laugh at many racist jokes. I've eaten a crushed Pocky that has been crushed under my shoe after walking around fields, San Francisco streets, and the beach all after a rainy day. I had a feeling I might be a siscon and lolicon. I once thought about jacking a M1 Abrams to run through Candlestick Stadium and blowing up Kaepernick in the face before running over his exploded body. I love Fanfiction and just started a new story about a guy doing a Let's Play on a new MMORPG in the distant future only to be trapped in it until the players beat it. I wanted to whack someone with a shield LIKE A BOSS! Sorry for not being able to upload anymore. No more SAO to watch for you guys. To my friends and family, live happily for the rest of your time without me. And it had to be on Part number 7. Why fail me lucky numbers and _Valkyria Chronicles_?"_

'_Wait. Whack someone with a shield?' I looked at the item at hand, and I just said 'Screw it.'_

"_RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

_I took a step forward, slowly pushing back the monsters. Building up momentum, I began running forward thoroughly rejecting from the choke point, and when I emerged just outside the entrance scanning through the overturned pork bellies …_

"_YOU JUST GOT REJECTED, SON!"_

_With only crazy, druggy rainbows in my vision and still taking dozens of hits from all sides, I wrecked the rest of the opposition with my cracking shield to unleash my inner Afroman. Even the song was playing from my downloaded playlist for some reason._

"… now I'm jacking off, and I know whyyy! [Why man?] Because I got high. Because I got high. Because I got hiiiggghhh …_"_

"_GET REKT, SONS! FUFUFAHUFHAHUFUUUUJKLADJAKDJVVCMMCQVOIDSAFIEGHCNANFPWETbleeeh …" last part in my druggy Lil' Wayne voice._

_With a moment to catch my breath and a sliver of red in my health bar, I breathed heavily from my recent hardship. I took a look at my shield barely holding together. Poor thing. Smoothing my hand over the cracks, it then shattered past its due durability._

"_My good viewers, I live to see another day. And you all have to admit … that it was pretty damn badass. But this was only a new shield. Worth quite some Col. I am going to find all the bacon in the shops and eat as much as I could now."_

_Walking back towards the town, I took a look at my shield arm again. I love shields more than ever. And I still fucking hate you, Kayaba, for shittin' on my Luck._

_[Flashback end.]_

"Guys, I am going to be …," I put 3 Stat Points to Strength, 4 to Agility, 3 to Dexterity, and the rest of it to Defense, "THE BIGGEST, BADDEST, TANKIEST BASTARD THIS FLOATING CASTLE OF SCRAP WILL EVER KNOW!"

"Yes, viewers. I'm going full tank on this, to become UNKILLABLE. I don't give a crap about what shit damage I'll deal because I'm going to protect the scrubs that BETTER DAMN WELL DO IT FOR ME! I'll be so tanky; Sion, Zac, and Mundo will be my brahs in arms kissing my lovelyass feet. And they'll like it!"

One awkward silence later, "Okay, I just realized how messed up that sounded."

After that rant, the town came up in front of me, and I continued sprinting for it. Taking a look around, there were lots of NPCs but no players. Looks like I got here early. Walking towards a shop, I got to selling furs, skins, unnecessary items, and all that jazz; then I got to seeing what's new. My character was in some decent plate armor with a few dark grey decals covering most of me and had a 3 ft.-long straight sword on the left hand and a medium-sized buckler on the right. I equipped a helmet as well but I toggled its display option off because it looked pretty weird with my getup, but either way I looked good as of now. If I want to be a tank though, I'll need a better shield than the one I have now, but sadly none of the new ones in this shop were worth the col. However, I felt something behind me and turned around to reveal a green-cloaked girl behind me with the hood covering the top half of her face, but she still had a sort of predatory grin on her face. I really hope she's not half-man, half-shark. Like any person should, I felt a little freaked out at the sudden appearance of what looked like an Araluen Ranger ready to shank my ass and hang me into a tree to hide my body. Yes, Dad did have a liking to hooded badasses killing from the shadows. I mean, who doesn't? Their silent kills, the pretty difficult achievements, the girls (or guys. Gender Equality!) they pick up (except that they all die one way or another. Fuck you, Ubisoft). Come on, people. Gotta love 'em.

"Uh, you want to do something here?" I asked, stepping aside from the shop counter.

The girl seemed to have a short moment of confusion before realizing how to understand me and replied in a creepily cheerful manner, "Well I don't, actually. Who are you though? My name's Argo."

"I'm Varlancer. Just call me 'Var' for short. What are you here for, then?"

"Before we get to that, I would just love to know just what level you are, Var (**Dammit, it rhymed!**). You do seem very different from the others out there. Kind of like meeting Ki-bou and Heathcliff-san."

Nervously scratching the back of my head, "Aiiiii … I'm level 9, actually, from grinding just two nights ago."

Her hood lifted up to see her manic eyes (kind of like she took way too much coffee) widen slightly.

"Hmmm. Very interesting. Highest level I've seen yet however it's surpassing Ki-bou who's only level 7, and he was one of the best beta testers if he described it correctly. Were you one?"

"No really. My Uncle Vic took the beta, but he gave me the money that he was going to use to buy the things when I found the pre-order ad. So I'm as much as a n00b to this as anyone else like me."

"Looks I'll need some info from you, this might be good for some highlights," she muttered quietly before speaking up again and grabbing my arm, "Yep, come with me. I want your info."

Wait what? Is she going to ask for my number? Sure my parents said I looked good in that Viktor cosplay once. But I'm not that good-looking, right? (**Of course you can't tell, this is only from text in a barely descriptive Fanfiction OC. What do you think?**)

Turned out after she dragged me out into some empty field, she wanted to know my stats and equipment for some info guide she's making. Also, some of my experiences were described in our interview. After some more things from me, she wanted to friend me which I accepted. And she went back to the town to check the prices. Information broker, I think the term was?

"Well, guys have a lovely time. And we made the first addition to our Friend List, Argo. But I think the term "friend" is a bit loose here. She seemed nice enough, possibly bit too much on the coffee addiction there, but 'ey. This is VarlancerTheRanger and I'm signing off for today's video. Ba-bye." Video end.

(_12/1/14_ | _11:26 a.m._ | _**Sword Art Online **_**Let's Play Part 27**)

"Hey guys! It's VarlancerTheRanger and today we start another part of the _Sword Art Online _Let's Play. Apparently, everyone's got a message for anyone wanting to clear the game to attend a meeting. Now, I have a feeling we're going to do something big for this video. So on to the place!"

Arriving in a circular amphitheater and taking a seat in the back, I crossed my legs and waited patiently for the meeting to start. Hey, that guy on the stage has blue hair. Is it natural? But how the hell? Or it could be dyed in real life and it was scanned that way. Lucky son of a gun. But it looks like it's starting.

The blue-haired fellow stepped forward, "Hello everyone, I'm Diabel, and I am – as I like to think of myself – a knight." Laughter followed at the comment. 'There's no job system here! / Quit jokin' around! / Why you call us out here for?'

Diabel's face turned from warmhearted to grimly determined, "Just recently, me and my party have been clearing the dungeon and found the boss room." That got a response. 'Oooooh! / How? / Where?!'

Muttering softly just for my viewers to hear, "He looks nice and very good as a person. I'm startin' to like this guy. Any more news?"

"So, as my duty as a knight and yours as clearers, we should take down this boss and prove to everyone that this death game can be beaten!"

I couldn't help applauding the speaker and yelling an 'OOOOORAH!' He's like a politician pushing people to support Tesla for the good of U.S. industry. Inspiring, but I felt something's a little up. Just a little.

"The boss is Illfang, the Kobold Lord. He is a boss with 3 health bars with an axe and a buckler. Once he reaches the final health bar, he discards them both for a sort of curved weapon called a Talwar. He has an entourage of Ruin Cave Sentinels. And …"

But then a voice popped up with A-S-S-H-O-L-E imprinted all over the voice signature just from one word, "Oi!"

An orange guy with cactus hair jumped down and with a look of contempt on his face pointed towards the audience, "My name is Kibaou. And first, some people should apologize for the deaths of over 2000 players."

I muttered again, "Son of a bloody gun. We'll never make it to the 10th floor if this rate keeps up. I'm sorry for not being aware, but my condolences, minna."

The "knight" turned to the spike head and asked, "Is this about the beta testers?"

"Yeah! When this stupid death game began, instead of helping out the newbies, those damn beta testers took off taking all the good hunting spots and quests leaving the rest of us for dead! They should all give up their items and money to be distributed among all of us equally. And I know that they are here, come out!"

"Great, not only is he an ass. He's also a Communist. Go wrestle a bear with your bare hands, fucktard." Continuing my commentary.

Kibaou scanned the seats until he stopped to glare at me.

"You!" he stuck out that fucking finger. Asshole, didn't yo' momma told ya' not ta' point? "You must be a tester! Give up all your items to atone your sins."

Speaking up, "I'm not a beta tester."

Looks of confusion (why does this has to keep on happening?) swept through most of the stadium at my English. A deep voice from the crowd spoke up, "Put on Japanese subtitles." Thanks, whoever you are. But no thanks to the damn orange talking next.

"You damn American. Always arrogant and prideful. Fighting for others when it's only yourselves. You must be a damn tester, getting all you want with all your American dollars."

"He's an asshole, a Communist, and now a fucking racist? Oh hell no, son," I muttered a final time to the viewers, "Sorry everyone. Warning: swearing, racist stuff, offensive stuff, and other things you don't like will come from my mouth. I'm pissed off at this guy to the point where these words will shoot from my mouth into his face."

"First of all, I'm not a beta tester. I'm as much as a n00b as you are. I just happen to do better than you. Second, if you want my shit, my answer is 'Suck my American dick while I rip off your tiny Jap dick before I have you eat it for dinner tonight roasted in your insides-turned-fireplace.' You, my no-way-in-hell friend, are a frakkin' Communist who only wants your own little world a better face by having some good shit you can't get by your limpdick self. As a proud – not arrogant like you are, making shitty demands like that – American, I get what I earn. And you know what I was gonna do with it all. Give the stuff I don't need away to some people who need it anyways, or sell them to get equip on myself to clear this game faster and protect everybody else. Three, if you want the whole goddamn world against me, 1v1 me in mid, scrub." (**I'm not racist 'cause I'm Asian too. OK? Check my profile. I'm completely honest. And as someone taught in U.S. values at its best all my school life. I would do this stuff. Believe me.**)

The deep voice again spoke up again, "Permission to speak?" Diabel nodded, "My name's Agil. Well, do you, Kibaou-san, have this?" A tall, African man stood up holding a small, brown book.

Everyone else, me and the asshole included, brought out one from their inventory. Fiery Hairdo snarled, "Yeah, so what?"

"These were all free in the stores, correct? And these guidebooks were made from the beta testers." Murmurs of agreement spread all around the place. "Everyone had equal access to this information, and yet these amounts of players die. Instead of blaming others, we should be learning from their mistakes and avenge their deaths by beating this game."

Diabel agreed, "He's right, and we should all cooperate to take this boss down. Now …" I tuned out the rest of it. I got this, it's going to be the time to prove my tankiness, "Everyone form parties of 6. Meet up at 7:00 a.m. sharp."

"Crap!" I exclaimed. Scanning the rows I found a dark-haired guy and a red-cloaked figure talking together. Dashing for them, they turned to look at me. I recognized one familiar face.

"Ohayo, Kirito," waving to long-lost acquaintance.

"Oi, Var," he waved back.

"Wanna party up? You two look lonely, sooo can I join the party?"

Kirito turned to the cloaked figure who seemed like a girl, I think, and they both nodded.

"Aye."

The request screen formed in front of me and I accepted.

"Well, see you guys tomorrow. I'm heading out for some shopping." I walked away.

Behind me, the two: one the guy and the other the girl, said, "Bye."

Back to my viewers, "Well guys, looks like a boss battle tomorrow for you all, but first I'm gonna do some preparations. Repairs, potions, crystals, all that good stuff. And we'll be good to go."

With the sun up high, the restaurant looked like a good place to start. Eat, then anything important that you're too lazy to do hungry. Works every time.

"_Food, Glorious food._"

**[-]**

**Well, welcome back to another chapter of the Let's Play, and I appreciate the first reviews I just got. All came in only a day or less.**

**To:**

**Skyar Triv and CaptainButternubs756: Why thank you, it's nice to see a new idea I haven't seen yet in the archives now made by me, turn out pretty well.**

**Zombie7obster: Thank you, as well. But, after looking up the wikis, I'm pretty sure I got the dates right.**

**Siris the Guardian of Aura: Well you are … A FRIKKIN BRO'. GIVE ME A BROFIST, BROSKY! And if you were hungry for another chappie. Hope this helps your appetite.**

**This did not go too far plot-wise, I'm pretty sure, but I did spend quite some thinking on this. So I hope you readers like it. Like last time, if you wanna support the series, post a review. Or press the favorite or follow. (but I like the reviews more. What more can I ask for?) I will be trying to post new chapters every week or 2, but after the next chap (If I make it in time) I'm going on winter break in Canada. Therefore until some time next year will I be getting back to gear. So this is GrimRangerLock3001 finishing this chapter off. **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The Legend of the Beater … and the Playa?

(_12/2/14_ | _6:45 a.m._ | _**Sword Art Online**_** Let's Play Part 28**)

The shadow obscures everything on the screen before opening up slowly to reveal a nice landscape of grassy fields and small forests, probably from the vantage point of a hill or cliff. But, a voice so deep from the pits of the diaphragm and vocal chords rumbled out its narration.

"There was a legend of a legendary warrior," it began, "whose legendary skills were the stuff of legend."

The sight shifted to an opened book showing a figure in several stances before posing in different forms of attack. Apparently, two hands came into view to hold it in one and the other rapidly flipping to the next pages. Potions, crystals, monsters, and all sorts of things flickered in and out to the viewer before being snapped shut and pocketed away. The voice continued instead in a more normal but still serious tone.

"'Sup, viewers. I'm VarlancerTheRanger, and today I present to you a special episode of the _Sword Art Online_ Let's Play. Today we take one more step to freedom. Remove another obstacle in our way. Boot the first door down to breach and stick some bullets on some people's faces in slow-mo to complete the mission, COD-style. I and some thirty more or less players will take on the first boss monster of the prison that is Aincrad. As told by the Cactus He – the player Kibaou, around 2000 players are currently dead. So after this battle, we begin to pave the way to escape this world," wait, that got me thinking, and now I sounded a little childishly stupid saying this but, "Wait. Can you be an escapist in a fantasy virtual world? Does that even make sense? Like having dreams of "escaping" a fake world to the real world, when being an escapist you "escape" (by dreaming/daydreaming/fantasizing) from the real world? Dammit, I overthought stuff again. Oh well, there's some food for thought on the PhilosoVar Lancer Talk Show on Shit That He Randomly Asks."

I stood up from my spot on the hill and sprinted for the town.

(_10 minutes later …_)

Seeing all of the players assembled in the square, I began searching for the rest of my party who happened to be standing by talking a little amongst themselves in their own spot. Waving my hand and rushing in like a madman surely broke up their small talk. Both looked up at me and gave me a stoic 'What the heck?' look. I know that the girl has a hood over her face, but I can just tell. Trust me.

Giving off a final wave, "_Ohayo, minna_."

Kirito nodded at me.

And the girl, 'Asuna' apparently according to the HUD, gave a small "hello."

Silence that is awkward. One … Two … …. …Thirteen … Fourteen … Fifteen … Oh screw it. I wanna talk.

"Aiiii … You guys got ready for the boss? Did anything last night that I should know?" (**Yeah Kirito, like seeing what's under the cloak, or under the armor. Eh? Eeeeh? JK! I'm not that big of a perv. … Hold the phone. I'm the author. I'm pretty much GOD in this story! I can have him do whatever I fuckin' want! … Eh, I'm too lazy anyways.**)

Kirito shrugged, "Just some grinding and practicing some skills and tactics and so on."

"We also had some bread with cream for dinner and a hot sh-shower …" Asuna added pretty much in an uncommitted manner, but did I hear some embarrassment too? (**Damn, Kirito-kun. You work fast.**)

I turned to face the black-haired teen, "You work fast wit' dem, eh, Kirito?" remembering the first time I saw his real form. The statement still remains. Lucky bastards, yet unlucky ones sometimes.

He immediately became flustered at the comment, "Wait, what do you mean? If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, I did not do anything like that!"

Couldn't help but laugh, "HAHAHAHAHA! (wipes a tear) I was just jokin', man. Take a chill pill and chug some water. You look a little sick. HAHAHAH!" Sigh. It does feel good making others laugh, well it's only me laughing, but screw others sometimes, right. I will like almost all of my jokes, and I normally don't give a damn if others don't.

"Baka boys," the girl muttered just loud enough for both of us to hear. Instantly settling our differences, us guys united to glare at our new unknown foe, the other gender.

After that little moment, the familiar voice of Diabel called us out with a teleport crystal in hand, "Okay everyone. This crystal will teleport us somewhere in the dungeon leading at least near to the boss room. Wish us luck everyone and let's beat this boss!"

I snuck in some of my commentary, "You got that right, people out there. Wish us luck, and let's beat us some boss monster."

We all stepped through the portal and began to journey off to battle.

(_15 minutes of traveling and several dungeon monsters getting wrecked_)

With my newer and larger buckler, I blocked the incoming blow of a lizard man behind me, and being pissed at said lizard man I swung my sword knocking him back. Then, with a good boot to the chest effectively putting him on the ground, the finishing and oh-so-cliché downward stab shattered it to shards. The small victory only lasted for too short of a time however, plunging the reversed grip of my sword backwards. The strangled scream and another shatter already got me to looking for my next target. Thankfully (and a bit sadly), there were none to be found. Other players were catching their breaths and taking some potions to heal up, but otherwise we're good.

"Man, these guys are just really annoying now. But anyways, the boss is hopefully not too bad, but then again what can be worse than hordes of pigs?" I shuddered at the memory, but hey I have more appreciation for shields now.

I took a glance to my side, and the rest of my party were relatively just freakin' dandy. Kirito and Asuna were standing right where they are. The teamwork does pay off apparently. Oh crikey. He's looking at me in a not so nice way.

Walking up to me, he asked, "What the heck are you doing?"

Yeah, this whole time I didn't do any team stuff with those two here, so yeah, "Uuuuh … Monster-hunting?"

With a roll of his eyes, "Yeah, thanks for pointing out the obvious, but you do know that you can get yourself killed if you're not careful?"

"Well hey, I'm working to be unkillable no matter how many bad scrapes I get into. This dungeon is just a little test of that. Sorry, but I haven't been in a party since the WoW expansion pack 4 years ago. So yeah, I might be a little outdated on party tactics. But besides, check my stats," scrolling down my menu before flipping the screen revealing my stats to him. Wow, I can see the detail in his irises. Hell, I didn't even know that his eyes could be THAT big.

**Level**: 16

**Stats**:

Health: 735/735

Strength: 154

Defense: 267

Agility: 139

Dexterity: 102

Luck: 2

(Yeah, I fucking know and if anyone saw this coming, damn right Kayaba's still playing this joke on me. And for some reason I can't add Stat Points to this crap. Natural progression, my armored ass!)

**Abilities**:

One-Handed Sword (Lvl. 9): 2591/9000

Two-Handed Sword (Lvl. 3): 2786/3000

One-Handed Battle Axe (Lvl. 8): 5469/8000

Two-Handed Battle Axe (Lvl. 3): 1335/3000

One-Handed Assault Spear (Lvl. 6): 4805/6000

Two-Handed Assault Spear (Lvl. 3): 1012/3000

One-Handed Dagger (Lvl.7): 6973/7000

One-Handed War Hammer (Lvl. 4): 87/4000

Slant (Lvl. Max): 10000/10000

Vertical (Lvl. Max): 10000/10000

Vertical Square: 32/1000

Horizontal (Lvl. 9): 6623/9000

Whirlwind: 369/1000

Parry (Lvl. 6): 4538/6000

Block (Lvl. 10): 1284/10000

Blade Throwing: 421/1000

Searching (Lvl. 10): 111/10000

Straining (Lvl. 9): 8976/9000

Hiding (Lvl. 2): 146/2000

Acrobatics (Lvl. 9): 72/9000

Sprint (Lvl. 10): 509/10000

Extended Weight Capacity (Lvl. 9): 7981/9000

**Stat Points**: 3

**Exp**: 1924/6250

Kirito does have a very loose jaw, apparently; but seriously pick it up, man. It's kinda freaky. Like an anime-coming-to-life freaky.

After blinking a couple times, his head bowed down with a shadow over his eyes, and his mouth contorted into a very – uuuhh – toothy grin, "Hey, Var?"

"Y-Yeah, man?"

In a flash he grabbed my collar pulling me to his cold, calculating glare with a newly formed scowl, "How in the hell did you level up this quickly?!"

"Aiiii … How the hell should I know?" I whispered the next part, "Argo said you were a beta tester. Shouldn't you be telling me?"

His voice rose to an even harsher tone, like he was thinking of digging a grave, "How the HELL should I know that YOU don't know how the hell you don't know what you don't in the hell KNOW!? AND HELL NO!" I wonder whose grave he's going to dig.

My face started heating up and sweating nervously. Geezus, I'm so screwed. Seventh time this month. Dammit Valkyria Chronicles, why that number? But, I was saved by the bell, or a guy with blue hair in this case. Damn do', where did he get dat shit?

Diabel stood in front of two giant doors with intricate designs carved into them, "Okay people, organize your parties according to the formations we discussed. Tanks and Vanguards take the front and prepare to switch out with other ones. Healers will take the back and prepare potions. And …" However, some of the designs managed to piss me a bit off.

"Hey guys (the viewers this time), doesn't that look like an eye and a very familiar one at that? Stupid doom mountain. Oh, and is that a symbol/rune thing from Myth if I remember correctly? And OH MY GOD, he pretty much stole every magic circle from anime! Damn you, Kayaba. And over there …" My continued ramblings then earned me with the feeling of a sizzling brand labeled "INSANE AS FUCK" on the back of my head. Turning around I saw the collective sweatdrop, so I nervously rubbed my hair.

With a scratch on my head, "Sorry everyone, I'll just shut up now. Aaaaand, go inside and kill the boss. See ya," so I kicked down the doors and rushed in. Love the Strength stat, people. The others gave each other looks then shrugged before following me in with their battle cries.

[_**BOSS BATTLE! KAISHIN!**_]

We all scanned the room warily before spotting the boss at the back of the room. It leaped up before crashing down in front of us drawing its axe and shield, and we all tentatively took a step back. Readying a defensive stance, I checked it out: 4 health bars, jackal-like head, red fur with cyan design on the belly (**I'm going with the anime version, so if you read the light novel, then you have to deal with this.**), bone axe and leather shield, incredibly fat …

"Man, don't 'dis doggy look a bit too ugly for the show, ain't it," I joked, "Hey bitch! Are you pregnant with triplets, or are you really that fat? If the damn latter, then yo' mama so fat that when she got to one of dem digital weight scales, it said on the screen 'REMOVE WHALE'S ASS FROM THE MACHINE'!"

Everyone who was previously staring in fear and nervousness now cracked up a little or began to grin with blood – uhh red-pixel thirsty looks, "You know what? He's right! / Yeah you goin' down, bitch! / We're definitely kicking yo' bitch ass!"

Clearly pissed off, Illfang roared summoning 3 figures. Then what seemed like fully-covered, armored mini-versions of it, Ruin Kobold Sentinels, came charging with halberds and maces. With a single mighty battle cry, the players charged to counter, and the battle had begun with a mighty clash of virtual steel.

[_Some time later in the battle when Illfang's to half HP on second bar..._]

Engaging with another Sentinel, I crossed my sword and shield to repel the halberd swing, and I yelled, "Attack now!"

The two party members behind me rushed forward with Sword Skills effectively ending it with a shatter. With that done with, we all turned towards the boss engagement.

The flurry of swords, axes, and spears hacked away at the boss, chipping its health bars little by little. Diabel stood behind them giving orders, and parties switched in and out bringing in the pain for the boss.

"Damn, that guy sure knows how to lead a company. Wonder how he's done it before, but either way he's pretty frickin' good."

"True, but come on Var. Focus on our battle," and the black-haired swordsman pointed to another Sentinel about to crash in.

"Aye. Yokai." Another round of monster bashing comin' right up, and oooh! Shield bash to the face again, bitch! Suck it!

[_More not-so-badass fighting stuff later …_]

Man, these guys take more punishment than they look like they should. I parried the Horizontal with my Vertical knocking the last Sentinel's weapon arm upwards which I took the opportunity uppercut with my shield sending it flying. I crouched down raising my shield over my head with a shout.

"Switch!"

With a leap, the cloaked fencer hopped on before we pushed forward sending her rushing to the falling Sentinel. Finishing it off with a Linear, Asuna gracefully broke her fall with a tuck and roll. Glancing towards Kirito behind me, I noticed him staring at the boss. When I turned to look at that, …

With a commentary, "Okay guys, this is it. Illfang's down to the last bits of health, and a lot of us are still standing. We'll take down this bastard now. And after this, we'll open the doors to the next floor and hopefully get something to eat. I am in the mood for Chinese, apparently. That bigass dog over there really needs to diet, though."

Kirito turned towards me and Asuna, "Guys, let's go help them. Stay back and support when needed. Let's go!"

The two of us nodded, and the party dashed off towards the mob of players surrounding the nearly finished boss. Once we got there, they were preparing to give the finishing attack, but a shout halted them in their tracks.

"Stay back, everyone. I got this!" and Diabel, the leader, charges in with a Sword Skill. Why the hell is he doing that? Clearly not logical. I mean screw glory man, just get everyone to kill the damn thing.

But something worse got my attention. Illfang dropped his primary weapons and then drew the blade from the wrapped sheath on his back. I don't know what on heaven, earth, and hell is a Talwar, but unless I didn't play enough Total War: Shogun and ninja+samurai games, that's a …

Kirito after a look of realization tried to reach out to the leader, "Diabel, no!" as The Kobold Lord drew a long, rectangular blade with no hilt before jumping straight up to the roof avoiding the attack.

I slowly realized as well, "What the? Oh, son of a …"

… FUCKING NO-DACHI! GET YOUR WEAPONS RIGHT, KAYABA! WHY THE HELL DOES THIS BITCH HAVE A NO-DACHI WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SAID IT'S A GOD-KNOWS-WHAT TALWAR!

After it met the roof, the fatass jumped off it right back down to the frozen Diabel still on cooldown. The blue leader was knocked up flying, and with as spin the kobold slashed thrice to send him crashing to the wall. Dammit, it's good. Kirito dashed to the fallen knight's aid with a potion in hand while the others retreated slowly at the defeat of their leader. I watched Kirito trying to give the pony, but after what seemed like a few words from the fallen, everyone's "knight" had shattered to code joining the souls he sought to avenge. With a turning of my head to glare at the monster that killed the valiant warrior …

"You motherfucker," I clenched the handles a bit more tightly then relaxing, "DON'T FUCK WITH US LIKE YOU DID TO YOUR WHALE'S ASS OF A MOTHER, YOU BITCH OF A BITCH!"

Walking towards us with his face shadowed by his bangs, "Let's go, everyone." My and Asuna's face were shadowed over as well. Well, mine by the angle of the light and hers by her hood, but you know what I meant.

Charging with swords poised for attack, we rushed Illfang to finish what Diabel started … for only a couple seconds, but come on be serious. (Actually, he did technically start the meeting to discuss the boss battle, does that count? But didn't we mean 'the whole finishing off the bastard' not the entire fight? … You know what? I don't even know. … Damn, it's weird being in a stalemate with yourself.)

Kirito gave his orders, "Asuna! Var! Same thing we did with the sentinels! Var knocks up the blade then we switch!"

"Hai!"

With me on the vanguard, I caught the no-dachi swing with my shield before knocking it up with a Vertical.

"Switch."

The two one-handed sword-users began the counterattack with their Sword Skills, slowly sapping the last drops of health from the fucker. Oh God, her cloak came off, and I gotta say she's beautiful. May not be my type, but still a beauty.

'She's beautiful,' Kirito thought.

Take that, and that, and that, and that, and … "Oooh! Slashed at the throat, buddy. A couple more slices for $3.99 a piece!" ah, best hero ever – or should I say anti-hero? – Eh? Illfang's got something up his sleeve, and it's gonna pull it off, "Shit."

I rushed forward in time to intercept the slash. With my chest, and the other two got slashed as well. Goddammit, not fast enough. As we skidded against the ground, I noticed the finishing blow coming for us. Warily, I braced my shield waiting for the pain, but luckily Agil came to the rescue, swiping away with his two-handed battle axe.

"You kids okay?" Asuna came to her senses as well and nodded; I shrugged a bit, "Okay then, let the men handle this!" Oh wait, got an idea.

"Hey Agil, right?" said man nodded, "Can you get those two over there to surround the boss with you?" I pointed to the other two-handed axe-wielders.

"Yeah, but why?"

"I'll be there with you. Just surround him and prep a Whirlwind, okay? Wait for the signal."

"Okay." And the big man called out to the other two and began surrounding the boss engaging with the rest of the battle group. With an AoE attack, they were all knocked back.

I swiftly scrolled down the menu and equipped my battle-axe, hurrying to my position poised for the Sword Skill. I looked at the four of us axemen, and reassured I gave the signal, "YOSH, LEEEEEET IIIIIT RIIIIIPPP!"

The 4 of us spun towards the vulnerable boss on cooldown, munching it up in a kill box of spinning axes.

"SPIN 2 WIN FOR THE WIN!" A little to into the battlelust, I cackled madly at the pure insanity of the wrecking we're dishing out. Once we're finished, I used the momentum to swing my axe one final time to STICK IT UP ITS ASS, blowing it away to the other side of the room. Tossing away my weapon and myself with it, I landed right in front of the mortally wounded monster with just slivers of health now. Equipping the first thing I could, which was my shield, I prepared a final smash. But a scream of rage cried out behind me, which was Kirito. First, you get a girl with you, now you're going to KS. Oh hell no.

With my shield reared back powering up in a green glow (Wait what?) and Kirito leaping with his Vertical Arc, "AMMMURRRRICAAAAAAAAA! / RAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" (**You guess who said what.**) And with those mighty finishing blows, Illfang had finally fallen in virtual shards.

The screens popped up in front of us, "Congratulations! You have defeated Illfang, the Kobold Lord!" then "You got the Last Attack Bonus!"

Oh goodie. Bonus shit. Taking a peek at my fellow boss-slayer, Kirito got a new outfit, a Coat of Midnight. By the name, it sounds pretty badass. What did I get?

"You have received Uchumisen, The Universal Guitar!" A guitar! Score! I didn't even know you get to play music here.

"Oh yeah. Kirito?"

"Ah?"

"Don't steal my kills."

"I only did it to avenge Diabel. He was a great person."

"Hmm, I can tell you're right. But seriously, it was my kill, man."

"You don't need the Experience."

"Still my kill."

"Your NerveGear was hacked."

"Oh, now you're just being jealous."

"Whatever."

"No KSing in my house."

Agil walked towards us slapping our backs, and Asuna giving a well-meaning nod and smile while the rest of the crowd cheered. Well, the rest of them except for one asshole.

"Why did you do it?" the Orange Blabbermouth Full of Shit sobbed (my breech-covered ass.), "Why did you let Diabel die?"

Oh yeah, Kirito couldn't save Diabel. Well, what's this Cactus Head going on about now? Kirito just couldn't stop it enough. Kirito stood passively, waiting for what else Kibaou had to say.

"You knew that the boss's techniques, but you didn't save Diabel from it. You … You are … YOU'RE A DAMN BETA TESTER, AREN'T YOU?" What the fuck, man? None of us knew that the boss got updated with a new weapon and fighting pattern. You should a) know that what a no-dachi is b) know that its weapon did not look like a CURVED weapon like a talwar and c) fuck off.

The commotion got the others talkin', "A beta tester! / Are there more? / Come! Show yourselves!"

I gritted my teeth at all of the bullshit in front of me, but before I say anything, a demented laugh echoed through the room.

With a dark and sinister look, (Dang, I need to learn how to do that face.) Kirito stated firmly, "Haha. How dare you put me with those wimps? You know those beta testers didn't even know how to use Sword Skills. Hell, you guys were better than them. But I, I cleared the most floors than any other tester and know more information than any broker! Hah!"

"You're not just a damn beta tester. You're a cheater! / Cheater / Beta Tester! / B-b-beater!"

At the last word, Kirito looked inspired for a second before quickly changing to a dangerous smirk, "Ha, Beater. I like it. From now on," he scrolled down his menu and equipped his new cloak. Damn, it looks so badass. You freaking legend. "… know that whoever wears this cloak is the Beater. Don't even think about lowering me to those lowly beta testers!" and he walked off to the stairs. Hmm, attention on him. Entirely on a class of his own. Seems like a bad guy. Oh, I see what he's doing … maybe.

Agil and Asuna were about to defend him, but I gave a look to both of them. I shook my head slightly. With that message sent, Asuna decided to chased after Kirito, and I followed slowly. When she reached him, they exchanged some words until the fencer had a small smile on her face and the Beater had a devilish grin. As she ran down the steps, a glance between us and a nod of a sort of understanding passed. I just walked behind Kirito silently. When he opened the doors, we walked through to see the next floor through a dirt path.

"Why are you coming with me?"

"Oh? Nah, I'm not following you. I'm just hungry from the fight, and some new food than my usual would be nice."

"Hmm. Shouldn't you go with friends?"

"Ah, got none. Well, unless you count Argo, but not really."

"I'm the Beater, now. You'll be thrown under the bus with me."

"First of all, I could just say that I wanted to explore the floor before the nasty Beater gets his dirty paws on the good quests and hunting grounds, but I'm not up for explaining. Two, does it look like I care? I've been this way for a couple years, nothing too new."

"Hah, you a lone wolf."

"No, a lone, lonely loner with differing philosophy and social awkwardness."

A window popped up, "You can play any song with Uchumisen from any skill level. Will you play a song? Y/N"

Equipping my new guitar with the strap over my shoulder, I pressed yes.

"Wanna hear a song?"

"Sure."

Now the music began with a drums, guitars, and a flute in the background along with my new guitar:

A few disembodied voices sang all around, _Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! (Guitar riff)._

I started singing:

_Daijoubu ore ga nanmankai mo sakende yaru  
>Kimi no ashita ga subete kagayaite iru to shinjiteru<br>Yume o kanaeta subete no hito ni kasanariau kyoutsuten  
>Akiramenakatatte koto sore dake sa makennayo<em>

_Mukai kaze ni nagasare kujikesouna toki wa  
>Kono te nigire TRY TO TAKE A CHANCE mou<br>Kimi wa hitori nanka janai ze  
><em>

Unknown to the two of us, this way going worldwide. Heads were turning up looking for the source of the song.

_Motto motto mae e mae e kimi no ikashita yume akiramenaide  
>Sou naitenai de susume MY WAY ima<br>Kimi o terashitenda hikari_

_Akirame nanka zenbu sutete_

_Tsuyosa to hikikae ni mata kizutsuite_

_Demo kimi no massugu na hitomi ni wa  
>Ima mieru darou hikari<br>_

I and Kirito look towards the rising spires, following our gazes to the top. Looks like there's still hope.

_YOU CAN DO, DON'T GIVE UP. YO, WAKE UP!  
>Akeru subete no asa ga so THAT'S FOR YOUR LIFE<br>Ame no hi, hare no hi, inochi no hi  
>Moeru honoo wa CHANCE to onaji i<em>

NOBODY KNOWS TRUTH AND FUTURE sou sa  
>Kotae wa koko ni aru, ALWAYS IN YOUR HEART!<br>Asu o shiranu kono sekai sa moyase kokoro o BELIEVE YOUR HEART!

Agil and Asuna look up to the sky as well

'Well, we're on our way home. I will see you again, my wife.'

'One step closer to beating this game. I will finish this and survive to go back to my old life.'

_Ima wa kitto naite CRY DAY bokura tsuyoku wa naishi yowasa daite  
>Demo karasanaide ame ni saita hana<br>Kimi o tsutsumikonda sekai_

_Kanashimi nanka itsuka kieru_

_Namida to hikikae ni mata yasashiku naru kara_

_Kimi no massugu na hitomi ni wa  
>Ima mieru darou hikari<br>_

Somewhere, Klein and his friends were staring up with his friends while Argo was leaning on an alley looking up like everyone else.

'Hah. We'll finish this.'

'Heheh. Looks like things are making progress here."

_Ookina kaze ni fukarete yureta  
>boku no kokoro no oku no chiisana yume<br>Michibata no hana ni jibun kasanete  
>Tobenu sora o miagete hitori de naita<em>

Ah! Hane wa naikedo  
>Mou bokura hitori janai<br>Boku ni tarinai mono wa kimi ga  
>Kimi ni tarinai mono wa boku ga<br>Kasanari awaserya mugendai  
>Ano hiroi sora ni mo te ga todoku ze!<p>

A party of six were wondering on where the hell the song came from, except for one. The blue-haired girl clutched her shield a little tighter. And a short-haired brunette with a chestnut-haired girl with twin ponytails on the sides gazed at the sky with new determined eyes.

'I hope we make it out just fine.'

'We're coming up.'

'Let's do this and get back.'

_Motto motto mae e mae e kimi no ikashita yume akiramenaide  
>Sou naitenai de susume MY WAY ima<br>Kimi o terashitenda hikari_

_Akirame nanka zenbu sutete_

_Tsuyosa to hikikae ni mata kizutsuite_

_Demo kimi no massugu na hitomi ni wa  
>Ima mieru darou mirai!<em>

_Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh!_

Finished off with my guitar riff and last drumbeats, the song had me sighing in relief at the good time I had. Kirito applauded warmheartedly at the performance.

"You're a pro? And what song is that?"

Slinging it on my back, I replied, "Not really, I've been taking lessons for 5 and a half years. But, add to the fact I love Rock Band. And the song is from 15 to 20 years ago. It's from an anime, actually. 'ft.' by Funkist."

"Well, that was great."

"Why, thank you."

The sun is starting to go down apparently. With the impression I was just talking to myself, Kirito waved off the commentary for my viewers.

"Well guys, if you ever seen that opening, you should know why I put that song up. But today we killed our first boss. Kirito's now cast out from everyone else because he's a Beater." I heard a short derisive snort behind me, "But it doesn't matter. I think he's a freaking legend. Now then, we're here on the second floor. So, I'll show you more next time. Have a jolly good time!" Video end.

"Kirito, wanna friend?"

"Huh?"

"Add each other to our lists. Loners don't have to stick each other, but at least we see which one of us didn't die yet."

"Yeah. You know what? Sure." Kirito pressed 'yes' on the request I gave him.

A fatass killed. A black Beater rises. A lovely redhead can shank with a long rapier. An awesome axe-wielder can spin to win. And I have not died yet and still in the early yellow, I think I'm doing good on the tanky motherfucker department so far. Oh my god, noodles!

**[-]**

**Yello there, and here's another chapter for the Let's Play. Not the best humor as I would like, and not the best action if I say so myself, but this is the longest chapter I've ever written. 4956 words. But either way, like Var said, if you saw the anime opening with the song above, then you should see why I picked it for this part of the story. Epic as fuck and it describes rising to the top. Watch and/or listen to it, if you have never heard this. If you know which anime (it's really well-known), just post it on the reviews for a nice bowl of cookie noodle soup right on your desk.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sword Art Online nor Funkist and "ft."**

**Anyways, some replies to the reviews:**

**Skyar Triv: I would think that an Avengers/SAO idea would be pretty cool. And thank you for the compliment. I really loved writing that part. Just wondering though, ever heard of DC Universe Online? Look it up. It would be interesting for a crossover between SAO and that.**

**Bardy (guest): Thank you, and the subtitles were mainly meant to close the language gap between Var, an American who's only knowledge of Japan is through National Geograpic and anime/manga, and the rest of the players who speak Japanese, except for maybe Agil. But yeah, I know that the menu was all in English, but some signs were in Japanese if I remember correctly, so yeah. But it's not complete nonsense. It was a nice joke. Either way, I like that you find this a favorite. Hope you like this chapter.**

**Now, back to me. This is gonna be my last chapter of 2014 because, like I said last time, I'm going to Canada for winter break. So until next year will I get back on track. Don't forget to comment, subscribe, and like. Happy Holidays. And a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you lot! Till I update again, this is GrimRangerLock3001. Hohoho.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Here Kitty, Kitty … Welcome to the Anti-Crystal Club

_**The OPENING of Let's Play Sword Art Online **_**(ENGLISH DUB)**_**:**_** [Living Louder – The Cab]**

The scene shows a heavily-armored individual with a tattered mottled green, brown, and grey cloak sitting cross-legged in a meadow surrounded by vast forest under a starry sky. With a black, chrome-plated guitar over his back, he begins tapping his fingers to a beat.

_Oooh~ Oooh~ Oooh~_

_If today's the day I die  
>Lay me down under the lights<br>Let me fall in love  
>Let me save a life<em>

_And let me lose my voice  
>Singing all my favorite songs<br>Let me stare up at the stars  
>'Cause it's where we all belong<em>

The person already slung his guitar to his hands, playing the chords and now slowly nodding his head. Transparent shadows of the main characters smile and laugh in the sky behind him.

_My heart like a firework in my chest  
>My only regret<br>Is having regrets  
>Traveled the world<br>I loved every step  
>And all I know is...<em>

The scene changes to all of the main SAO characters plus some unknown ones as well (**OCs?**) walking down a path, weapons drawn and in a 2D platform.

_No one, no one lives forever  
>But we will be remembered<br>For what we do right now_

Another transparent shadow, this time the monolith from the Black Iron Palace with the names of the players, hover above them with different names being crossed out.

_Baby, I'm living louder  
>And dreaming longer tonight<br>(Living louder, we're living louder)  
>And baby, I'm fighting harder<br>And loving stronger tonight  
>(Loving stronger, we're loving stronger)<em>

_Because we're all just kids  
>Who grew up way too fast<br>Yeah, the good die young  
>But the great will always last<em>

_We're growing older,  
>But we're all soldiers tonight<em>

Changes to all kinds of experiences with the main characters.

Kirito: Joining the Moonlit Black Cats, Dueling Heathcliff, Sitting with Asuna and Yui, etc.

Asuna: Eating bread with Kirito, Taking on the Gleam Eyes, Cooking for Kirito, etc.

Klein: Taking on the Pig, Taking on the Holy Dragon Alliance, Talking to Asuna for the First Time, etc.

Agil: Showing the guide at the meeting, Knocking back Illfang, Talking with Kirito at his shop, etc.

And you get the idea.

_If today's the day I go  
>Gonna drink with all my friends<br>Gonna laugh until we cry  
>As we talk and reminisce<em>

_Let me kiss a stranger  
>And rob the local bank<br>Let me become real rich  
>So I can give it all away<em>

Back to the walking down the trail scene except they're back to back surrounded by monsters. Blocking and dodging attacks as best they could, at first …

_No one, no lives forever  
>But we will be remembered<br>For what we do right now_

… and then to full on killing spree.

_Baby, I'm living louder  
>And dreaming longer tonight<br>(Living louder, we're living louder)  
>And baby, I'm fighting harder<br>And loving stronger tonight  
>(Loving stronger, we're loving stronger)<em>

_Because we're all just kids  
>Who grew up way too fast<br>Yeah, the good die young  
>But the great will always last<em>

_We're growing older  
>But we're all soldiers tonight<em>

Now back again to the guitar player on the cliff, but everyone else is also there standing beside him looking at a sunrise in the horizon.

_When you got your breath inside your head  
>Everyday's a second chance<br>If I wake up with a beating heart  
>Will I stand or will I fall apart?<em>

Again to the fight scene, the sun's rising behind them in the trail fight as they just finish off their last enemies.

_Living louder, dreaming longer tonight  
>Baby, I'm fighting harder and loving stronger tonight<em>

_Baby, I'm living louder  
>And dreaming longer tonight<br>(Living louder, we're living louder)  
>And baby, I'm fighting harder<br>And loving stronger tonight  
>(Loving stronger, we're loving stronger)<em>

Close up views on each character …

_Because we're all just kids  
>Who grew up way too fast<br>Yeah, the good die young  
>But the great will always last<em>

_We're growing older  
>But we're all soldiers tonight<em>

Finally, they raise and cross their weapons together.

**OPENING END****.**

[_4/8/23_ | _7:23 p.m. _| _Floor 11, Taft_ | **Kirito's P.O.V.**]

I saw a raised chalice in the air, knocking with the 4 others that joined in the toast. The holders of said chalices were smiling wholeheartedly and clamoring over their escape from Hell's Gates after I led them out of a Labyrinth a bit earlier. In their joyous cheers, the one with the brown shirt turned to look at me with a thankful smile.

Keita brought a proposition, "Oi, Kirito."

"Yeah?"

"As you can see, you're going solo without a guild, correct?"

I nodded.

"And you're just around our levels, correct?"

I nodded again. Well, more like twice that, but I can't tell them that.

"Well, we don't have a lot of members, and Sachi here needs some help being a Forward with her shield and all, and she really isn't getting used to the change," The mentioned blue-haired girl shied away a little at the comment. True though, they do need another vanguard after what happened to only having Tetsuo, the spiky-haired, purple one. Therefore, they picked Sachi, a spear-wielder, to switch equipment for a sword and shield, "Sooo … would you like to join us?"

Well, I am taking a break from the frontlines for a while now, and these guys do look like they want in on some more battle action. Helping them until they can take care of themselves won't hurt. Yeah, I can deal with this.

"Okay, then. I'll join."

Keita grinned and stuck his hand out for me to grab and shake, "Well, then. Kirito, welcome to the Moonlit Black Cats!" He turned to his fellow members, "Hey, everyone! Come on! Welcome our newest member!"

The others cheered me on with Sachi giving me a warm upwards turn of her lips, Tetsuo cheekily smiling with closed eyes, Sasamaru, the cap-wearing damage dealer, saying a warm 'welcome'; and the blonde and blue-eyed thief that is Ducker grinned with teeth showing everywhere and stars in his eyes.

I really hope they don't have to go out like they would have back at the Labyrinth, but besides that they really are a great team with such amazing bonds between them. With more time like 6 to 9 months (**69 months!? Skipper: No, 6 TO 9 months!**) and better stats and equipment, they actually could be Clearers.

"So, how did you guys meet each other?" I asked the brown guild leader.

His face lighting up, he waved his hands to his motley crew, "Oh, we're all in the PC research club at our school, so yeah we know each other offline. Another guy was supposed to be joining us, but we haven't found him, yet. And he was a beta tester and the smartest of all of us." He took a pondering expression, "I wonder how's he doing. Fine? Lost? Dead? He better not be that last one. Lost and dead?"

Hm, beta tester? Then they probably don't share the same hate that others do, considering their friend, so I could – No, they shouldn't know me as the Black Swordsman. However, another voice had me turn to a slouched figure on the bar counter with a mottled, hooded cloak of various greens and browns, and I easily identified him as the infamous guitar-playing tank with a habit of talking to himself or no one in particular.

Var blankly examined his drink closely, "Guys, it is possible to get booze in this game. I swear, it is possible for me to get some right now, America. What's more important is the consumption, though, which I have done 26 times. Man, that golden liquid really does seem interesting. Are there hangovers? Let's try it. … No wait! I'm still a minor. The cops could be watching this for all I know! … People! Help me out here! I don't want to be a stereotypical rebel/problem child, but being a good boy means I miss out on one of the unknown experiences that change and ruin lives." It smells pretty funny, but all the more reason to appreciate it. Kayaba sure does know his stuff. "Oh screw it," and there went my drink again. "ANOTHER!"

After that "discussion", I turned my attention back to the small guild in front of me, and I saw a closely-knit group of friends, borderline family. If only I could ever get out of my shell in real life, then maybe … I thought, 'I just might enjoy being with these people.'

However after another couple minutes, I was snapped out of my train of thought when a drunk slurred behind me, "Oii~ Kirrtooo~. Yurr douuu knowrrr~ thaur~ yuh lieee~ twicccsss~ theee' nuubeeezh~ leve- …"

Don't ruin it, you drunk bastard, so with an Embracer, "NOOOOO!" Var went flying into the wall, causing the Immortal Object window to appear.

Rubbing his cheek, he slowly opened his addled-minded, slit eyes until he seemed at least near fully alert. He began looking around the ale house for a couple seconds before glaring at me with his eyebrows slowly coming together. After a moment of silence for his former drunk self, he finally spoke, "Brosky … What. The. Hell. What the fuck was that for, you asshole-licking son of a bitch's crap-shitty, cocksucking cunt?" Behind me, the M.B.C. cringed at the language. Can't blame them. But don't fuck with my mother like that, bastard, or any of my family for the matter.

He somehow read my look and continued, "Don't give me that, K. I had to deal with all kinds of crazy shit today that I would have traded for taking on the whole fucking Labyrinth and if I had 300 times the luck I have now, end up saving those people, too. Hordes of mobs after my ass. Slashing and bashing monsters. Running under buildings. Stopping this virtual death game. This – this is bullshit, man! (Sigh) I'm trying to keep it together." Man, he does look like he had a rough day with that pissed off of a face. Sighing, he again monologues, "Then Argo tracks me down for another interview. We talk a bit. How I felt about the game as of far. How my life is probably shit now. What kind of crap will we deal with in the future. Then next thing you know, my nonexistent love life – and I mean, what the hell? We both get a little conversational and all that. I talk about having no game. She talks about assholes in her past. We exchange some words, then I give her a shake. Next thing you know she comes at me with fury hell hath none. Bitches are crazy, dammit. And now I TP here because there's an ale house with pretty good ale and I wanted to show the viewers the possibility of getting drunk and then you punch me in the face, instantly making me sober. Like what the hell, Kayaba? Does this mean I could get high, and all I need to do is get someone to Falcon Punch me? … Oh yeah, that reminds me."

He instantly gets up on his feet before walking up to me, "Falcon …" He raised a glowing red fist. But how? Did he complete the Martial Arts quest, but got something different? "PUNCH!" Holy crap, that hurts like hell. It felt like a giant jet just rammed me in the face, leaving me behind the afterburners.

A random patron noticed the act and yelled, "BAR FIGHT, F-ZERO STYLE!" before running up to another random player and "Falcon … PUNCH!"

"Falcon PUNCH!"

"Falcon Punch?"

"Falcon Punch."

"FALCON PUNCH!"

My head slowly turned to see the brawl begin with several older players exchanging blows with again glowing red fists. Then, others seemed to get the hang of it and counterattacked. Even the Moonlit Black Cats joined the fray. Except for Sachi, apparently, who ran up to me dodging the other brawlers. However, one player (a girl, a bit surprisingly) came up behind her prepared to land a blow on Sachi. Before I could get past my struggle to cry out, the blue girl swiftly turned around and with that cute "FALCON PUNCH!" (Inner Onee-chan Kirito: KAWAIII!) gave an uppercut to the backstabber. After that, I blacked out. What has this world come to?

[_5/9/23_ | _1:49 p.m._ | _Floor 20_]

Sitting on the side of a grassy hill, I looked at the guy lying next to me reading the _Weekly Argo_.

"(Sigh). The lead groups have just cleared Floor 28, eh?" Putting it away, he asked, "Kirito, what's the difference between the lead groups and us?"

"They know all the fastest ways to get EXP, and they don't share." 'Like the Black Beater, for example.'

"Really? I'm sure that's part of it, but I think it's willpower."

"Willpower?" What does he mean by that? We're in virtual bodies, so it would be a question if they even have our 'souls' within them. But then again, spiritual stuff gives me a headache. I might as well go insane like Var. (Remembers Var's mindless babble on philosophy.) Damn.

"Well, I suppose you can think of it as determination to protect one's friends or, heck, everyone. And they still are protecting us, but I think my will is just as strong. Like how our friends and family are first priority. However, we still want to get up there with the rest to the top."

"I see."

But the yellow thief himself decided to crash the party, "Oi, leader!"

"D-Ducker! Come ooooooon …"

And the rest of the group walked up to him as well, smiling in amusement.

"You think we'll get up there with the Holy Dragon Alliance or the Knights of the Blood Oath?"

"Wh-What?! That's crazy! We have to think small for now, guys!"

"How about going for level 30?"

"Th-that's impossible!" And the guild went on with their laughter.

That's quite touching for him to see Clearers in that light. It may not apply to all of them, but if they all did, those players could really be great role models to get everyone else to clear this "game". With ideals like that, Keita would be a great influence if he gets enough prestige in the ranks. But for now, I think he loves being with his friends now.

[_6/22/23 _| _11:02 a.m._]

Sigh. The last couple of months went by really well, in my opinion. They really worked hard to level up and are just about ready for the front in a month or two if we keep this up. But for now, the guild had earned enough Col to afford a base to stay in, so Keita's going out to look up some.

Keita looked back at us, closing his menu after a funds check before he leaves, "So hang tight, guys. I'll be back in the afternoon after I come back from Starting City. Then, we can all take a look at our new place, okay?"

The rest of us joined in a collective cheer, "Oi!"

So the brown-clad guild leader headed to the teleport gate, and with a "Teleport: Starting City" he was gone.

What to do now? More grinding, maybe?

Ducker, though, had a more daring idea, "Hey Kirito! Let's go take on a dungeon! We should be ready for something a bit harder. We might even surprise Keita with all the Col we got!"

Ever since the Labyrinth where I saved them, the guild has been taking it safe all this time, and the lower-level monsters are getting even Tetsuo bored. It looks like we could go for something that's more of a challenge. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? I nodded in agreement. (**Goddammit, man! FAMOUS LAST WORDS, brah! I swear to Kayaba, your ass is haunted!**)

[_**Sword Art Online**_** Let's Play Part 230**]

"Brrhubbabrabrah …" and I rubbed my shivering arms apprehensively.

The monochrome-coated player next to me stopped spinning his spear, "You okay, Var?"

"Naw, man. I'm fine. Just got a chill. Hate the fuckin' cold. But I just have a bad feeling for some reason that someone's either quoting me or said something really fucking stupid. Maybe both."

[_Floor 27 Labyrinth_ | **Kirito's P.O.V.**]

With a final cleave, the monster shattered to polygons like the rest of its brethren that we met in this corridor. Taking in the lightly-worn appearances of the guild members, they look like they're still eager for more.

'Did they really need me to come with them?' But with some hindsight, there's Tetsuo's last bad experience in a Labyrinth, Sasamaru's delicacy, Ducker's childish antics, and, of course, Sachi. 'Of course they do. I can't fail Keita for letting anyone get in danger like last time. Hell, I can't fail any of my friends here.' It feels funny having friends. For the past couple months, I have the time of my life, but in this place, I feel some constant sort of dread and have to protect them to not see what shit will hit the fan.

"Hey guys! Come over here! Found something!" Ducker waved excitedly from a side hall. All of us ran over to a mostly empty room save for the small chest in the center. Surprisingly, the atmosphere coming from the entrance really didn't sit well with my virtual gut. It's definitely a trap, and if I was more of my usual self, I probably would've just sprung it anyways. However, I have a really bad feeling about this.

The thief only glued his eyes on the prospect of awesome treasure and rushed to the chest, "Come on, guys. Let's crack this baby open!" And with a creak, the top was lifted. By then, the entrance closed behind the rest of us who have already stepped in a couple feet inside the room with me in the rear.

The room soon turned dark into a shadowy red as monsters have suddenly spawned out of nowhere. Mineral Elementals and Dwarven Miners. Shit, these guys are all out of their league! If only I had my Clearer gear, I could handle these guys long enough for us to make it, but …

"Dammit! Everyone get out of here! Use your crystals!" I yelled before parrying a pickaxe and knocking the offending dwarf back.

Ducker already pulled a teleportation crystal out of his pockets and tried to activate it. Nothing. "Huh? C'mon, work!" This is worse than I thought. A fucking Anti-Crystal Zone.

Everyone else is already having trouble defending themselves from the onslaught of monsters. The best we can do is go on the defense and regroup so that we can hold out until we can get out of here somehow. I yelled at the top of my lungs, "EVERYONE, TRY TO GET BACK! STAND BACK-TO-BACK IN DEFENSIVE POSITIONS!" Without looking at me at all, they grunted in affirmative and backpedaled to me pushing away their foes.

Once we all stood surrounded, all we could do was trying to recover from the ambush taking in ragged breaths from our shock. I lashed out at the swinging stone arm, chopping it off from the Elemental before finishing it. Crap, if only I could change to my Clearer gear right now then I might just be able to take care of these guys by myself.

"Gah!"

"Hurk!"

"Hufhufhuh…"

"Aaaaah!"

No, I will not let any more players die and my friends here are definitely not going to on my watch! Ducker swiped furiously in long sweeps desperately fending off the Miners. Sasamaru gave a couple fearful jabs at the Elementals. Tetsuo hid behind his shield continuously taking the abuse from the pickaxes and arms slamming down on it. But of all things to happen, Sachi was knocked on the side by an Elemental, having her skidding on the floor with health bar dropping to the late yellow. By then, my vision began to turn blurry with a yellowish tinge on the colors in it. With a primal cry of rage I threw myself to the fray hacking apart the Miner. No matter what equipment I have on me, no matter how much they hate me, I am the Kuro no Kenshi – The Black Swordsman. I am the Beater. But despite these titles, I am still a Clearer. I have fought and fought for the past several months to not only free myself but for everyone else. Like Keita said, maybe it's about willpower because I definitely feel like I have the will to protect my fellow guild members and friends. As a member of the lead group, it is my will to protect everyone from death in this game. Sure I'm unsuccessful, but I cannot fail this time!

However, to my great surprise and ignored delight, the entrance behind us opened, and two figures stood by the doorway. Looking around a little older than me, the first was in a coat very similar to mine except colored in a mix of blacks, grays, and whites. His face was calm and collected with his seemingly light gray eyes. The long black hair was tied to a small ponytail coming shoulder-length. Once his view came upon us, his eyes narrowed into a stormy, intense look before rushing forward with the two-handed spear he wielded. The other was a very heavily-armored figure, apparently iron armor and a shining helm, and he wielded a two-handed hammer (the only problem? The guy used one hand to hold it. What?). With a bellow reminiscent to a Viking/dwarf from one of my older games, he charged into battle. Who are these people?

[_2:55 p.m._ | _Floor 27 Labyrinth_ | _**Sword Art Online**_** Let's Play**]

"So, what're you gonna do when ya' meet 'em?" I asked.

"Don't know, Var. Give them a huge hug. Plead for mercy when they line up to punch me in the face for not being there. Spread the love. Tap that ass I wanted for so long," my friend jokingly replied.

"You really do like her shy, do ya'?"

"(Sigh) Well, she did take care of me since forever IRL. And besides she's beautiful that way."

"That's a good man," I chuckled, and then to seemingly myself, "Yeah, guys, don't tell the girl you love she's 'hot'. Say 'beautiful'. It's just the good thing to do …" Weird mental silence, "What the hell am I saying? I never have been in a relationship before. What can I tell you guys besides ripping off pasted notes on Fanfiction profiles?"

"Again, are you okay?" the other guy put his hand on my shoulder.

"Eh, yeahyeah, I'm fine. Nothing but a …"

"Aaaah!" a muffled shriek rang around the hallway.

"Sachi!"

"Your girl? Cheating on you now?"

"Fuck that, Var! Let's go!" And the dude sped off to his damsel in distress.

I followed as well, "Everybody out there, today we have our first rescue mission. Today we must save the lives of innocent players. So, men, let's do this. Wait what? You're not helping from out there? Too bad you insufferable pricks, I'll save these people with Gale here." My voice suddenly turned to a Scottish and/or Viking-Scandinavian accent, "Why did I just turn to my Iron Hills loadout?"

We came across a hallway around the corner with the rings of weapon clashes on the other side of a wall. My friend, named 'Gale', swept his hands all over it looking for any cracks or entrances, and I scanned the surface as well, coming to a keyhole-sized indent. With an iron boot an entrance was made revealing the dozens of monsters inside, and we saw the group under attack. 5 players deduced from whatever info I got from Gale and the man in black were my friend's old guild and Kirito. And the monsters were Mineral Elementals and DWARVEN Miners. No wonder I turned to this loadout. At the sight of a blue-clad girl lying on the floor groaning, Gale instantly rushed forward with intent to impale the Elemental preparing a final blow.

The girl woke up to see her savior and positively beamed, "Zenka? Is that you?"

And then Gale sidestepped a pickaxe before calmly having another virtual shish-kebob, "Yeah, it's me. It certainly wasn't easy finding you guys, and first thing I see is you guys in a mess like this," he replied in a sarcastic monotone.

The three other guys started gasping in amazement, "It is you! Where the hell have you been Gale? / Nice to see you again. / Finally, you join the _party_. Get it?"

When everything else was going to shit like this, I charged forward with a mighty battle cry and swung my hammer downwards flattening a monster to pixels.

Still with my accented voice, "Do you want me to bring down the HAMMER?!" Another lot was sent flying with another sweep, "You'll have to do a lot better than that, lads! Actually make this fight a challenge for me!"

With his great Agility and tankiness, Gale constantly protected his long-lost friends wielding his two-handed spear to keep the assailants at bay. Kirito was yelling his lungs out going full demon mode, hacking and slashing with wild abandon. Overall, my mind was getting pretty crazy from all this, so I did the best thing I could think of. I added something to the chaos.

Raising my palm in a halting gesture, "Stop! STOP! Listen for a moment here!" Everyone was still fighting, "Hey, I need to say something! Jesus, so rude!" Still fighting. You just UNLEASHED THE DWAWVES OV EWEBOWR! Eyes ablaze in fury and slamming my warhammer to the ground for effect, my roar shook the entire room, "Lowly monsters and kinsmen! I am KING DAIN, SON OF NAIN, SON OF GROR, YOUNGEST BROTHER OF THROR, DESCENDANT OF THE LINE OF DURIN, FRIENDS WITH A COLLEGE ROOMATE AND HIS PONY, MASTER OF PIGGIES, SLAYER OF THE WHITE FATHER-KILLING SON OF A BITCH, LORD OF THE IRON HILLS, KING UNDER THE FUCKING MOUNTAIN! Who are you to oppose me and my allies?! You pieces of rubble are just figments of a child's strange imagination, and you miners have betrayed my rule and have become lower than any good dwarf should! FEAR MY FURY!" and awkward silence filled it just after. The players looked at me with the most awkwardly surprised faces and added sweatdrops as if I had gone insane. (**That has been happening a lot now, hasn't it?**) Even the monsters can't help but stare bug-eyed wondering what entity of randomness has appeared before them. "Now, come at me for a glorious battle to the death so that the gods above may revel in my badassery!" Everyone was still stunned at my performance (well, maybe except Kirito and Gale. They always had a good notion that I was a tad eccentric) and have done nothing to continue the battle. "Very well then, come on!"

Within 3 seconds, I equipped an axe and shield with a couple swipes on the menu in one, the next second I positioned myself in a supposedly defensive stance with my now glowing shield in front braced against my shoulder and the axe at my side, and at the last one I rocketed forward with my Shield Skill – Shoulder Charge. As if I were a semi, the charge sent monsters in my path flying to the ceiling and walls like roadkill. Snapping out of their dumbfounded confusion, the rest of the players resumed the fight as well. Kirito began his storm of slashes and parries to cut down all the remaining enemies. The guild continued fendin off the assault. Gale spun his spear around like some master martial artist from one of my mom's Asian dramas/action movies. I went nuts with burying my axe into split skulls (and rock head thingies). So all in all, the whole thing lasted for another 15 minutes of crazy fighting before the last of the bad guys died.

Through their huffs and puffs, the reunited friends conversed with their missing guild member.

Tetsuo asked first, "So, Gale, where've you been?"

"I've been wandering solo ever since. Could never find you guys for some strange reason until now."

Sasamaru posed the next, "Then, what level are you now?"

"Oh, I'm level 32. And I'm building on AGI/DEF."

Ducker now had something to say, "Wait, are you in the lead group?"

"Yeah, I'm a Clearer."

The blonde already screamed in excitement and crushed Gale in a hug with anime tears streaming down his face. Man, can't this get any more like some anime for guys looking for badasses with swords and girls. With the fact that it takes place in a video game as a perk.

(Jesus Christ, why am I breaking a wall.) (**Well, bruh, you do talk to hypothetical viewers out IRL.**) (That's a completely different matter, Grim.) (**Don't fuck with me, Var. You're my bitch and I'm the pimp.**) (Yeah, you should really go fuck off somewhere.) (**Screw you.**) (What're ya gonna do? Cockblock me when I'm about to get laid by a girl I REALLY FUCKING LIKE?) (**Why didn't I think of that? Thanks for the idea, asshole.**) (You should already know what I'm thinking. After all, you are the au –)

"You're so awesome, Gale! Kirito was right after all! We can be at the top!" the thief exclaimed his revelation of joy.

"Wait? Kirito?"

Sachi came up behind the coated spearman and tapped his shoulder nervously, "Yeah, he saved us a couple months ago. And since he was around our levels, Keita let him join the guild."

"How can that be? You guys already are at that high a level?"

The girl tilted her head confusedly, "What do you mean? We're only in twenties, for now."

Gale then started widened his eyes in surprise, "But Kirito is nowhere around your level. He should be twice that. After all, he is the _Kuro no Kenshi_, the Black Beater."

I laughed wholeheartedly at that, and he pointed at me, "You were there when he met them. Didn't you tell them?"

"Nah. First thing, I was drunk off my ass. Second thing, Kirito pretty much needed a social life outside of being a black badass/lone wolf. Last thing, I discovered the Falcon Punch in this game."

The guild members gaped in astonishment, except Sachi who smiled sweetly. "Wh-what? We had a Beater with us all this time. And not only that, but the best one of them all? B-but his equipment …"

The said player spoke for himself, "Was to look like I was your level in stats and Col. Sorry, I should've told you guys, but I couldn't bear being rejected for who I am." He added the last part sadly.

"Oh yeah, Kirito. Ya know that I thought Gale here was your twin brother or something. Coats. Black hair. Dark colors. Poker faces. Emo aura. The works," I commented remembering the first time I met the guy with a spear and coat in Floor 29. The locally famous _Yari no Yami_.

Kirito and Gale glared at me with ticks on their foreheads (Yet another anime device.) (**Shut up, man!**) before simultaneously, "Seriously?! WE'RE NOT EMO!"

**[-]**

**Well that's another chapter after SOOO FREAKING LONG! Yeah, this chapter was not as focused on Var this time, but on Kirito. Because well, I liked the episode for what it did to Kirito (Okay, a bit pushing the PTSD but still interesting). So, I will be doing some more chaps like this from the canon characters' P.O.V.**

**On to the next point, if anyone was a little annoyed at my twisting of canon by saving the M.B.C. and adding another OC. That wasn't my idea nor my original intent until I got PMed by a guy who requested it after last chapter. Since this is like my first story and all, I talked with the guy a bit to iron out the details for Gale and BOOM! I just popped in a new OC to the mix for the M.B.C. to have their asses saved. If you don't like this change, deal with it. It's been done.**

**Back to a happier note, the 'OPENING' for LPSAO was requested by the same guy above and hope you guys liked that. Hope you listened to the song plus enjoyed the visualization that I tried to describe into words from my imagination.**

**Now on to the reviews:**

**Skyar Triv – Well, I can't thank you enough for the kind words, and I hope for more epic boss battles to come.**

**Link7934 (Guest) – I've been watching Let's Plays and Walkthroughs ever since I was 6 or 7 when I wanted to help my cousin with his Pokemon Emerald, so I love those vids so much. And I wish I could see other video game anime/games/books/movies/etc. with a Let's Play concept like this that would be something very enjoyable in the future of Fanfiction. (Oh hell, what am I saying? But glad you like the concept. Sorry for lack of LP commentary in this chapter. ^_^)**

**Siris the Drakonid(Ender Mage?) – Just how many times have you changed your profile name? But, man, you're hungry.**

**rjm324 – Glad you did.**

**Axel the Moon (PMer) – Sorry I didn't put much Gale into this, but I promise more of him next chapter! Be glad that the guild survived, though! (Yeah, I didn't like that rescue as much as I would. But eh, this is what you get.)**

**Going to busy for these next couple months with high school and science fairs comin' up. But until then, comment, subscribe, and like for the next episode! This is GrimRangerLock and hope you enjoyed your break.**


End file.
